Alcohol + Boys

I’ve had many memorable nights of being intoxicated. I can remember running down deserted streets in Foggy Bottom with my roommate, laughing and screaming. I can remember singing and dancing along to Britney Spears with several dozen of my new best friends. I can remember sharing my deepest secrets and fantasies with complete strangers. And there’s a lot more that I can’t remember at all.

I’ve had some of the best nights of my life while drunk and also made some of the poorest decisions of my life while drunk. My problem isn’t with alcohol—alcohol, on its own, is just fine. My problem is when alcohol is introduced in a setting with guys. It heightens the sexual energy of a place and does something truly dreadful to girls like me.

I will deny you any details of my own (very rare) crazy nights with guys and alcohol. I’m sure that everyone reading this blog can think of a night blurred by alcohol-fueled passion. But they always run the same script: girl goes out to have a good time, girl drinks a lot, girl becomes sexual goddess, girl finds responsive partner, girl wakes up wondering, "Did I really kiss/touch/shag my best friend/coworker/boyfriend's best friend/boss/that old creepy guy in the bar?". It’s just the power of alcohol. It thankfully and regrettably rids you of your inhibitions and fears, at least until the next morning.

I think that I've learned my lesson about alcohol and boys (The drunken events of this summer still make me cringe). So pass me another glass, and dear sweet boys, stay away.