Fishing

I have two “meetings” lined up for this week. Yes, I called it a meeting not a date. Well, one is a date while the other is sort of a mini-date veiled as a professional/networking meeting. On Saturday, I’m meeting a guy I met on OKCupid, O, and on Thursday, I’m meeting a guy that I met at a party two weeks ago, J.

I don’t know how I managed it but I somehow got the courage to email J today. I really like him. He is smart and funny, and he seems to be interested in the same progressive politics as me. He works on the Hill, and though he is shorter than I’d like, I found myself drawn to him that night. And I don’t think it was just the alcohol. At least I hope not. I ran into him over the weekend, and I was nothing but awkward. Thankfully, I was convinced to take the initiative and drop him a line. He emailed me back and now we are set for coffee on Thursday so that I can “learn more about his job.” I just want to find out if we can click over coffee as we did over martinis.

In the case of O, I’m letting him take the lead. He brought up meeting in-person last week and we finally agreed to a time and place for a face to face. We’ve had a number of long email exchanges during the past few weeks on topics like our careers, families, childhood, and dreams for the future. Who knows if we will get along in-person. I hope we do but chemistry can be a funny thing. And that is why I insisted that we not go to a restaurant like he suggested. It is so much easier to slip out quickly after ordering coffee than if you ordered an appetizer and entrée.

It shows you how traditional I am that I was very resistant to emailing J at first. I feel very strongly, like Patty, that a man should lead in the pursuit. That’s why I only emailed O after he contacted me with something more than a random line about my appearance. And that is why I waited for O to suggest that we meet in person. But in the case of J, I was so much an awkward wallflower during our last meeting that I felt the need to contact him. I knew that I didn’t give clear signals and that he wasn’t the type to take a chance and contact me anyway. My hope is that now he realizes that I am interested and that the ball is in his court. It seems like a silly cat and mouse game, and I’ve only just begun to try and understand it.

I am looking forward to both of my meetings with girlish glee. I feel exhilarated and powerfully female. Both meetings are exactly what I need to give me a much-needed ego boost when it comes to guys.

On a similar note, I had dinner with my ex tonight. It was awkward at times but enjoyable. I’m very glad that we are trying to transition from lovers/bffs to just friends. Despite all that has passed, he remains someone that I admire, love, and respect as a friend and as my past love. He is no longer my future. And that is okay.

Online Dating - Change of Plans

This week, I joined OkCupid. Yes, I’m starting to put myself out there—at least in the online dating world. I like the fact that there are more quirky men on the site and I find the tests and general layout more to my liking. Aside from the one person I’ve been emailing, POF has been a bust and I plan on removing my profile after one more week. I will probably remove my profile from Match as well.

I realize that my very short-lived online dating foray was the result of me panicking after turning 29 in May. I started to pressure myself to try to find love this year so that could, in fact, get married by 30 (that dreaded age, right?).

But now, I’ve calmed down. Thanks to the less than stellar options that I’ve seen on the dating sites (many older men, many uneducated/non-career focused men). I don’t think that I have unrealistic standards. But I don’t think it is picky to want to someone who is similar to me in the basics (values, ambition, financial security, career/life goals, etc). I don’t want to settle or waste my time. And I don't think I have to.

But what also changed my mind was chatting with my new mentor on the Hill. I told her about my concerns regarding whether I could be a successful, senior Hill staffer, with all the time demands that would entail—while also having a fulfilling personal life with a husband and kids. I mean, I barely have time for a personal life as a junior staffer. While she recognized that it depended on the office I worked for, if I had hired help, and whether my issues were “up” in a given year, she noted that many women are waiting to have kids these days and that it seems to work out for them. So instead of prior generations being all about their home life before, possibly, finding out that they want to pursue a career. Or the more recent generation of women seeking to have it all at the same time—and not quite achieving it without conflict and something failing (their marriage falling apart or their kids having to raise themselves). She noted that these days many women are seeking to first reach the pinnacle of their career before taking a break or slowing down to raise kids and then ramping back up when their kids are school age.

It may be silly but that reminder relieved so much pressure off my shoulders. I’ve been deeply concerned about my life plans ever since I turned 25 (the age when I was “supposed” to be married). And I often worried that my career drive and priorities was coming at the expense of ever having a family. But now I feel more secure about waiting until I am where I want to be professionally before I bring life into the world or adopt. My career is very important to me and I derive much of my personal value from work—as it is a way that I feel I am “making a difference.”

So, magically, I no longer feel under pressure to find someone this year or even the next. A male in my life would be nice but it isn’t a requirement for me to be happy and to feel complete. That’s something I need to achieve on my own.

So I’ll be on POF for another week and maybe OkCupid for a little while after that. Then, I’ll put away my online dating dreams—at least until I freak out again next year after turning 30.

Do get me wrong, I am still looking. But the pressure is off to find the true love this year or the next.

Online Dating - Nightmare on Privacy

Last night, I had a horrible dream centering around Hannibal Lecter, with guest appearances by my male roommate (shirtless and glistening with sweat after a morning run, of course...). The plot of the nightmare centered around the lack of privacy of my online profile. Yes, very lame--except for the whole roommate part.

Needless to say, I woke up around 230 a.m. and immediately made changes to my online account. I created a new email address to handle the correspondence, scoured my descriptions for any possible TMI, and strengthened a handful of my web passwords.

It was a weird way for my subconscious to flag my anxiety about putting my picture on the web. Oddly enough, I didn’t wake up with nightsweats after posting pictures or info on Facebook—and we all know that FB has privacy issues.

Last night, I performed a google search of my name. I hate that my info shows up on those background check websites—as linked to my mother, sister, and even my father. Supposedly all the information out there is just compiled from public records—in addition to the stuff that I’ve put up (via work and on FB/MySpace). I can’t imagine anyway around it other than totally dropping off the grid, only paying cash, and living in cabin somewhere.

I will definitely continue to be mindful when the time comes to actually meet someone. I don't care to have any more nightmares about my online dating ventures. For a refresher, check out this site for a few tips about online dating safety.

Online Dating Update - Added a Picture

Yes, it has been a while since my last post. Nothing major to report.

However, over the weekend, I created a profile on the free online dating site, Plenty of Fish. And I finally broke down today, and posted two pictures of myself. I don't think either picture really meets the recommended criteria for profile pictures put forth by Patty. I didn't add pictures of myself looking like my weekend casual self nor the glamed-up version that surfaces on special occasions. I choose two pictures somewhere in the middle, that show the real me on a good day.

I had resisted adding my picture to my online profile for months. Adding a picture makes it all so real. But I want to give it an honest try and I know that I won't find a guy who would want to date me purely from reading my clever profile description. Of course, I don't want the physical to be the main selling point as it is so fleeting. Yet, I can't deny that the physical is an important aspect of attraction--at least initial attraction. And I am just as interested in seeing the guy's picture as he is in seeing mine before initiating contact. Me promsing that I don't look like a troll just doesn't cut it.

It is amazing that online dating has become an accepted mode of finding a hookup as much as finding love. I don’t recall what changed to make it acceptable now. When I was in junior high, I remember Celestyn finding a guy via the internet. We were so worried for her, thinking that she’d end up meeting a pedophile instead of a 14-year-old guy. Back then, it was something new and a bit scary. Now, it can still be scary but it carries more promise and possibility.

Until the past few years, I pretty much relegated online dating to being a mode for folks who were too lazy, weird, socially inept, busy, etc to find dates the old fashion way: through mutual friends, at bars, via extracurricular activities. But now, I see that it is a great way to weed through some of the nonsense and game playing that you encounter at the bar scene and find guys who are just as interested in finding true love as you are. Sure, there are still a lot of frogs out there who will put up the facade of wanting a wife, when in reality they are looking to get in your pants in as few dates (and as little expense) as possible. And I still feel that the best way to find a guy is to revisit your social circles and ask friends to connect you with the single men they know. Coupled friends in particular are always keen to help a single buddy cross over.

But online dating—especially free online dating that has been endorsed by single friends—is worth a try. Depending how it goes, I might finally breakdown a pay for Match as well. But for now, I’m putting a few more toes in the water while I wait to be comfortable enough to just dive in.

Going Fishing

Now that time and great friends have given me perspective on my missed connection last Friday, I realize the real lesson I learned: I feel ready to date again.

For such a long time, the strings on my heart from Floyd kept me from truly thinking about any guy in that way. And it definitely kept me from wholeheartedly allowing myself to pursue or be pursued by guys. I must admit that I’m not 100% over my ex and that I will probably compare any new guy I meet to him--at least at first. But I no longer have a silly fantasy of one day getting back with my ex. He is a friend, and I hope he is always a friend, but I know that an “us” really isn’t possible. Our paths crossed for several years and I am stronger and wiser for it all. But now, I must reentered the dating world.

I am scared. I am afraid of men and of sex. I don't know if I can effectively navigate that world after so many years of being out of circulation. Added to that, all the horror stories about dates from hell and immature, commitmentphobe boy-men, and I am all ready to commit myself to a life of celibacy and singlehood before I've even given it a try.

Yet, I know from experience that there is nothing like being in love. And from what I've heard, there is nothing like committing yourself to and growing old with the one person you can't live without.

Yes, I think I'm ready. I'm going to order two dozen dating profile cards, as suggested by Heather and Organica (what do you think about these, chicas?), to help out when I've found a worthwhile connection.

The big test will be when I see Floyd this weekend. I hope that I can keep it together and not revert to my old self. Although we have talked on the phone, I haven't seen him since he visited last summer and told me that we were totally over. So much has changed in my life since then--and for the better.

So quite timid and just a bit jaded, I'll slowly let my guard down in hopes of finding the one I can truly love forever.

Missed Connections

I apologize for dragging this topic out but I am still aggravated about Friday night. As you know, I posted a missed connection ad on Craigslist. I am aware that the rate of success from such posts is rather slim but I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to at least put it out there and let the universe decide. I like to think that I’ve racked up a fair amount of good karma over the years, so hopefully, the universe will reward me with the one thing I want the most right now: a second chance.

After I posted my ad, I started reading the other ads out there. There are so many. Most describe interactions that were brief and only on the surface. Others are a bit more bittersweet—about connecting with someone but subsequently, losing a phone number (and apparently not being able to find them on facebook).

I’d like to think that I fall in the bittersweet box. The more I think about it, the more I believe that I was provided the real deal, a high-quality, single male. Someone who was clearly interested in me. Someone who I was drawn to and felt safe with. But I don’t remember his full name, and I’m quite sure that I’ll never see him again. Yes, I am hopeful but I am also a realist.

I wonder how many people miss out on great loves because of circumstances that get in the way. I do believe in Fate and the idea that our life experiences are meant to teach us lessons. I also hope that the unresolved feelings I have about the guy I met will result in karmic déjà vu—and hopefully I’ll meet him again in this lifetime and not the next.

It is possible that the guy was just a mirage. A means to remind me of my deepest desires and goals. That I want to find my soul mate, the holy grail of dating: the “mind-blowing lover/life partner/best friend forever/father of my children/husband til death do us part”. Since Floyd and I split, I’ve sort of shut down and built extra walls around my heart. I immediately think the worse of any guy who tries to talk to me. Or worse, I immediately evaluate the guy in terms of the holy grail I am seeking. And that isn’t fair to the guy or myself.

So today, I am kicking myself still. In a week or two, I hope that I would have finished internalizing my faults and truly committed myself to being the confident, sassy chica around all the guys that I meet, even the ones I like.

Got No Game

I am sitting up a little angry and a little disappointed in myself, and decided to post just to get this off my chest.

I need to work on not being shy and aloof around guys—especially the ones I like. I am so afraid of rejection and I lack the self-confidence when it comes to men to truly assert myself.

I’ve had countless talks with friends—especially Organica—about my need to get over it and just put myself out there. Sure, I’m shy but that doesn’t give me a pass to be an aloof wallflower for the rest of my life.

Tonight, I met a great guy. We talked and danced for quite some time. I later learned that he asked my friend about me, noting that he liked me but wasn’t getting a vibe of reciprocity from me.

I guess his interest was obvious but for some reason, I felt the need to reject him or push him away before he could do that to me. It wasn't intentional but it was the vibe I gave off and eventually, we parted.

It’s a warped expression of my sense of self-worth, distrustfulness, and attractiveness when it comes to guys. But I don’t know where it comes from. I like myself. And I’m a strong, confident woman most of the time. But whenever, I am around guys, especially funny, charming guys who like me, I falter and the self-conscious, unsure little girl in me comes out.

It’s something that I need to work on so that the next guy who comes along who appears to be the real deal and wants to get to know me, can get a fair chance.

In the meantime, I’ve posted a missed connection--one of my favorite pastimes from the college years. I know it won’t amount to anything. But putting it out on the web and into the cosmos, I hope will send something positive my way.

Regardless, I've learned my lesson. I can't let good guys get away or I'll end up alone (with a family of stray cats).

"In Heat"

Over the weekend, I found myself watching a handful of Patti Stanger's tip videos on Bravotv. I must say The Millionaire Matchmaker is a guilty pleasure. I love watching Patti interact with her clients and give out advice to the men and women she tries to match. I don't know if I agree with everything she says but I think she provides a no-holds-barred view of modern dating that may turn out to be very helpful to a dating novice like me. Yes, I've already requested her book from the library.

In one of the tip videos she recommended that women date three guys at once: one guy who may be a keeper, one guy you aren't sure about, and one guy who is a definite no but who you have a lot of fun with (think: a go-to escort for a theatre night, friend's wedding, work gathering, etc). Having all three helps to ensure that you always have options on a friday night if your first choice, "the keeper," isn't available. But, perhaps, most importantly, it ensures that you don't become a woman "in heat"--one who is dying for male attention--romantic or otherwise. I guess that is another way of saying that "having a pair plus a spare" helps you avoid giving off the desperation vibe.

That really hit home for me. I think I have a deficiency of male attention in my life. I have a few male friends at and outside of work, but I'm not even close to having even three candidates to fill the spots. And I can only imagine that helps to create or add to my "stay away" vibe.

I think it would be good to have a larger male perspective in my life. Having more male friends will help me become less nervous, eager, and neurotic around cute guys so that when the guy I really want comes along, I am cool, confident, calm and collected--and not the needy version of myself who jumps ahead to wedding bells.

But first, I have to stop feeling uneasy about adding males to the mix. And for that I need to see every guy as a potential friend and not automatically evaluate him as potential boyfriend/lover/husband material.

So no, I am not ready to date yet. But I am ready to meet some new men--as friends.

It looks like I will be joining a kickball league with an old friend. I think he and kickball will be just the ticket to adding to my repertoire.

Online dating

For some reason--perhaps a mixture of loneliness, boredom, and anxiety about my upcoming reunion--I created a profile at Match.com. I haven't taken the next step of subscribing, but I think it is only a matter of time.

I don't know what this says about my psychological-emotional state post-Floyd. What I do know is that I am ready to start looking and to start thinking about what I really want in a life partner. I won't ever settle again.

I'm skeptical about online dating. Sure, I have friends who have found great guys online, but I've heard about the undercurrent hookup culture on some sites as well.

Part of me feels that activating my profile signals laziness or fear in seeking guys the old fashion way--at mixers or through mutual friends and extracurriculars. I mean, I haven't even given manhunting an honest try before hiding behind my computer. Yet, for a closet wallflower/awkward-around-boys gal like me it seems like the best and perhaps, only real option.

Tats

I never thought that I was the sort of girl who would be drawn to boys with tattoos. First of all, I go between indifference and abhorrence when it comes to tattoos. I understand that they are a means of self-expression and individuality. But, in addition to more philosophical reasons, I feel that skin is beautiful on it's own. Plus, I tend to go for the clean-cut type.

That's why it was so shocking that I was turned on by a boy and his tat. He was a cute server at Busboys and Poets, and had this dark band tattooed on his beautifully sculpted upper arm. I nearly jumped out of my seat in wanting to trace it with my tongue. Let me disclose that I have a thing about a guy's muscular upper arm. It's so sexy and having a tattoo there just enhances it.

Now, I don't plan on hanging outside of tattoo salons but I will make an exception to my clean-cut rule if the guy has that particular type of tat.

Adios, Floyd (this time for good)

It's amazing. I had an awesome weekend. It was relaxing and fun. Yet instead of being able to relate the amazing scallops and mac and cheese I shared with GRU at Ben's Next Door or the weirdness that was house searching with a realtor(!), I am left with the need to share my feelings of numbness, sadness, anger and confusion today.

Floyd is in town and I saw him yesterday evening. What a way to end such a beautiful day. Speaking with him on my stoop then politely asking him to leave.

My lesson was that I still have deep feelings for him and cannot be his friend until that fades. First, I need to face our reality and stop mourning what was or what never was--mainly how things were at the beginning. So hopeful and fresh. I was so young and so in love, as was he. Now, I'm older, wiser and I realize how different we are. All those things I decided to overlook at 19, 23 and 25, turn out to be essential now that I'm 29 and know, more or less, who I am and what I want.

So the weekend ended in tears and this morning began with tears, but no more. I've done this before and I can do it again.

I sucks to lose a best friend but it sucks even more to have a friend whose presence hurts. It sucks to end a relationship but it would be worse to prolong 9 years of limbo any further. I hate the maybes and the fantasies that lurk in my head. I live in a Disney fairtale, romance novel fantasyland most of the life--another lesson and another thing I must change. I strongly doubt that we have a future together beyond a friendship, if that.

It's a lot to digest and discard but for my own sanity, I have to finally say, for now and the foreseeable future, goodbye Floyd. It was real and now it's done.

Hump Day

OMG, today was unbelievable. I don't know what was going on with me, but I got my butt kicked.

I am normally so prepared for whatever comes my way at work so I have to blame it on the fact that it is the first week back from recess. Recess is an illusion as there is always a pile of work to do. But returning to the reality of this "Do Something" Congress has given me quite a shock this week. I can't wait for the weekend to catch my breath and to get mentality prepared for a packed June.

On a side note, I ran into my crush. It was the non-work, bright spot of my day (besides seeing Organica). Unfortunately, I didn't really have time to connect and chat but I am hopeful that I'll get another chance at this weekend's bbq. Last week, our mutual friend gave me a green light in terms of my crush being a good guy and not being a player. The fact that my friend, who I trust, didn't warn me or discourage me gives me new hope and a reason to reconsider pursuing him. I have nothing to lose and no other cutie to distract me, so why not?

Single

Yesterday, I called Floyd. I guess I was feeling guilty about my musings to half-heartedly pursue CuBu, my campaign trail crush.

He assured me that we are officially, undeniably just friends now. Not the “just friends” we’ve been during the past two years---not a couple but going on 2-week long road trips and romantic Miami getaways. But “just friends” who are past lovers seeking to establish themselves as separate, single beings.

I’m so happy that he also wants to stay close friends. We both know that will take time, but I don’t know of anyone who knows me as completely and can make me laugh as easily as Floyd.

It is the end of an era. I’ve known Floyd for almost 9 years and beyond the Mr. Rebound foray, I have been emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically attached to him since I was 19. Now, I enter my 28th year as a single girl and I am scared.

I am scared of guys, of rejection, of heartbreak, of broken promises, and of becoming a bitter old lady who regrets this choice. So, I will take it very slow. If all else fails, I’ll just focus on climbing the career ladder and leave love to another day. I just hope that I don’t wait too long.

Struck Out

Tonight, I had several people cheering for me, coaching me, pushing me along. But despite their well-wishes and advice, I struck out.

I don't have game. I'm sure my readers are tired of my constant whining about this but I don't know how I will ever find a mate if I always revert to a pre-teen girl around guys I like.

I ran out of things to say, allowed him to be drawn away by others, didn't close the deal with future plans. Mostly, I allowed myself to be discouraged by the gaggle of girls that always seemed to be near him. I guess as a new guy on the Hill, he's bound to be fresh meat. But to me he's more. He's the crush that just won't go away. I guess that means I need to get out more cause I know that DC has many other cuties for me to meet and fall for. But I just can't shake him or figure out how to snag him.

Missed Connection

Two blog entries in one day are a big no-no for Hippo Q., but...

OMG. I sat next to the dreamiest guy on the plane. He started talking to me as soon as I sat down. At first, I was antisocial, favoring to do some reading for work (will I ever catch-up?!). But when I was done, we started chatting again. Mainly about work and DC.

He's a military officer/lawyer and in town for only a few days, which means that he would be good for a short fling. A ONS isn't my style, but I would give anything to makeout with him. He was just so tall, tan, and strong with perfectly kissable lips.

No, I didn't ask for his number. Not when we were getting off the plane or when I said goodbye to him again near baggage claim. I am such an inexperienced flirt, relegated to relieving such exchanges over the blogosphere.

Any normal woman would have closed the deal. But I feared rejection and didn't know how to say, "hey sweetcakes, I'll give you a tour of the city you will never forget" without sounding cheesy.

So unfair. Why can't I get over my wallflower, traditional approach to guys? I fear that my lack of game will result in me becoming a crazy catlady that no one visits.

So here is my game plan. I'm going to try my luck with an ad on Craiglist and in the City Paper. Then, I'm going to burn in my memory this experience so that when the next Mr. Right(now) is presented to me, I won't fuck it all up.

A Lingering Crush

Last fall, on the campaign trail I met a guy who worked in a district office. I found myself instantly attracted to him and to this day I can't seem to shake him.

I've never been the sort to act on crushes. I just like the stage of flirtation and flutters without the worries of rejection and unease. I'm a habitual crusher, and I tend to have a new male crush every few months. Some guys continue to be on my mind months after our last interaction, and that is the case with this particular guy.

The best part is that he has moved to DC. I saw him a few weeks ago and he invited me to visit his office. Though I want to, I haven't visited him yet. I feel that would cross the line because I know that I would be going there for the sole purpose of flirting and doing everything in my power to get him to ask me out. And that's the problem. My heart still belongs to Floyd. Also, I hesistate to pursue a guy on the Hill. It is too much like high school--peolple gossip and folks tend to get around a lot.

So for now, I'm going to be immature and just relish our chance meetings. Once I know more about him and more about my own heart, I will find the courage to go after him and every other crush).

Best Vday (as a single girl) eva

Yesterday, started sorta lame. I ran some errands and bought myself chinese food and some ingredients for a mexican themed night. With a stack of newly-checked out books and movies, I was all set for single girl night in.

I wasn't feeling too sorry for myself because I already had a Valentine. Floyd offered to play that role earlier in the week. Yes, I did want to take a dart gun to all the heart-shaped balloons I saw. But I wasn't feeling totally bitter and alone (wow, that is melodramatic).

That night, I headed out with friends for a VDay chick-date. It was perfect! I got the juicy burger I'd been craving for weeks and I got to watch an awesome chick flick.

I had low expectations for "He's not that into you," so I was pleasantly surprised with a funny, engaging movie that hit home to my love problems and to many of my friend's love problems.

I am totally Jennifer Anniston's character. But I know that unlike her, I will never get the happy (i.e., married) ending that I want. And that is okay--or at least becoming more and more okay everyday. Sure, I'm not yet ready for a clean break from Floyd. But I realize that I have to find my happily married with kids ending elsewhere--with some who actually believes in marriage and wants kids.

The night was a great ending to a day that started just so-so. And I'd say that it was the most perfect Valentine's that I've ever had as a single girl.

Leading me on

Floyd and I are at an interesting place. We've started communicating regularly and openly. And even started to plan for the immediate future.

It is a bit silly, our relationship. Of course our feelings remain strong--revived by recent time together. But we don't live in the same city and don't plan on crossing paths anytime soon.

So, as Floyd asked last night, "are we leading each other on?" I guess if it's mutual disillusionment, it isn't so bad.

And there doesn't seem to be a solution. We're both willing to forgo a bit of crazed singlehood for the false security that our relationship brings.

I know that when it is all finally over, as it will be in 2 years (my new deadline), I'll curse myself for letting an unfulfilled (marriageless) relationship go on for so long.

For now, it feels right. And that's all I can ever hope for.

Love at the Club: Maybe it does happen

A month ago, I went to The Park with a coworker, Lacy. As I wrote in my blog, she found a "new boy toy." That new boy toy is now her boyfriend, and he is quality. What's up with that?

The old mantra is that you can't find a good man at the bar/club. My friends know the sort of "quality" I found in the bar last summer. And, all my friends have stories about the horrible guys they've met at the bar/club.

On a typical night out in Adam's Morgan, you tend to find three types of guys: single guys (A), unfaithful, attached guys (B), and faithful, attached guys (C). Guy C is aiming to get drunk and spend the night puking in the street. Guys A and B are aiming to get drunk and screw whatever relatively cute girl will have them. Given that that is what I encounter most often in Adam's Morgan (and many of the other bars I frequent in DC), it's no wonder that my expectations of finding Mr. Right in a club/bar are so low.

This is why I was worried for Lacy. Each day, she would tell me about their progress and their plans for the week. They seemed to be moving so fast. I was happy for her, but skeptical—and waiting for the big reveal.

Lacy and her man just celebrated their one month anniversary, and there is so much potential for their relationship. He is a quality guy and they have great chemistry.

So maybe I should reevaluate my viewpoint. Maybe, there are gems among all the duds at the bar/club. I guess that as a single girl, I should never automatically discount guys that I encounter in specific situations. You just never know.

Crashing a Speed Dating Event (sorta)

Over the weekend, despite the spending freeze I enacted in order to save cash for big my campaign trip down south, I headed out to Chi-Cha Lounge with some friends.

They had just thought of the best plan for meeting singles in DC, at least that's what I thought. The plan was to head to bars hosting speed dating events and just hang around after the event ends. The idea was that there would be a greater percentage than normal of guys who would be available, interested, and open to meeting someone for the long-term. I thought it was most brilliant plan ever, so when I got the call, I put aside my budget woes and donned my favorite heels for the night out.

I had a great time. My friends and I did spot a handful of cute guys that we tracked all night. Unfortunately, that is as far as it went. I would stare check out a guy repeatedly from across the room and when he would look my way and smile, I'd bashfully turn away or look down. It was so silly. Here was the perfect opportunity to practice my game, and I was cowering. I guess it's because of Floyd and the fact that I'm just not the sort of girl who has the ability to attract quality guys in a crowded bar—or anywhere for that matter. I just get so unreasonably shy. More liquor would have helped, but the girls and I weren't looking for a crazy night, just an excuse to get out our homes for a while.

For the record, the plan didn't really work. The folks leaving Chi Cha's side room, where the Speed Dating event had occurred earlier in the night, seemed older and quite ready to leave. Maybe an event earlier in the day would have been better because those speed dating events are quite draining.

So that's it. I was tucked into my bed by midnight--after over 3 hours of attempting to work the room. I'm glad I went out but I was even happier to be at home and in bed.