Soul Mates

I believe in soul mates, and I believe in kindred spirits. Despite my increasing cynicism and sense of jadedness, I can't help being a romantic at heart. Perhaps, I spend too much time reading silly romance novels and watching sappy movies. But I grew up, like so many others, singing along with Snow White: "Someday my prince will come, someday I'll find my love." No, I'm not an annoying Gen-Yer who thinks that she is a princess who deserves everything. But I do think that I am meant for a prince, i.e., a great guy who is my soul mate.

Yet, living and trying to find love in the city has gotten to me. So many guys in DC are just playing the field. All the others are either attached or not interested in me. Maybe my standards are too high and if I really looked around, I'd find lots of potential.

I know that I shouldn't be looking for a prince or a soul mate, as often the best partners for us are the ones that aren't traditionally our type or that don't seem to be the "One." Not until time passes and you fall in love, do you realize that that sweet guy you always discounted for a romantic relationship was really the one all along.

My coworker mentioned that she doesn't believe in soul mates and that she is looking for a best friend. Yes, I'm looking for a best friend but also something more. A partner in life, a lover, a father (to cute kids), and a devoted husband. I don't see why this is too much to ask, hope and wish for.

But I guess it is too much to expect from a guy that I just met. I remember Floyd reminding me that I wouldn't have much luck if I went out with the purpose of finding a husband. That scares guys away. Yet, I can't help immediately thinking when I meet a guy, "hmm…he could work for a Mr. Right Now, but his friend is the sort I could marry. Wait, did he say he was a teacher? Oh, I'd be a great teacher's wife!! We could home school our kids..." And there I go planning out my future with a guy I just met.

I think that the moment I stop looking (whether actively or unconsciously) is the moment that I'll actually connect with a guy that will turn out to be the one for me. I still have a few more years until I need to start panicking about my biological clock. So I should disregard the (perceived/real, society-/self-imposed?) pressure to finding someone and just enjoy my single life while I can.

If I truly believe that there is a soul mate out there for me, then I should also believe that eventually (perhaps tomorrow or when I'm 85), I'll meet him. Until then, I need to live fully and freely so that when (and if) my prince does come along, I'll be settled and ready to start a new chapter with him. And if I'm wrong and I never do meet him, I would have lived deliberately (and sucked out all the marrow of life).


Heather said...

Hi there,
Just wanted to put in a word of support. It can be frustrating to keep searching and finding guys who are either not the right type or else already attached at the hip. But keep your eyes and ears open, and you'll find him. I've heard before that you meet the right guy when you stop looking. That never made sense to me though. It seems to me that it's important to keep actively paying attention and following up on opportunities to meet new people. But you do that already. Anyway, I wish you luck! and hope that your prince will come along soon.

Hippo Q. said...

Thanks, Heather. I'm glad that you've found your guy and are living your "happily ever after."