Fishing

I have two “meetings” lined up for this week. Yes, I called it a meeting not a date. Well, one is a date while the other is sort of a mini-date veiled as a professional/networking meeting. On Saturday, I’m meeting a guy I met on OKCupid, O, and on Thursday, I’m meeting a guy that I met at a party two weeks ago, J.

I don’t know how I managed it but I somehow got the courage to email J today. I really like him. He is smart and funny, and he seems to be interested in the same progressive politics as me. He works on the Hill, and though he is shorter than I’d like, I found myself drawn to him that night. And I don’t think it was just the alcohol. At least I hope not. I ran into him over the weekend, and I was nothing but awkward. Thankfully, I was convinced to take the initiative and drop him a line. He emailed me back and now we are set for coffee on Thursday so that I can “learn more about his job.” I just want to find out if we can click over coffee as we did over martinis.

In the case of O, I’m letting him take the lead. He brought up meeting in-person last week and we finally agreed to a time and place for a face to face. We’ve had a number of long email exchanges during the past few weeks on topics like our careers, families, childhood, and dreams for the future. Who knows if we will get along in-person. I hope we do but chemistry can be a funny thing. And that is why I insisted that we not go to a restaurant like he suggested. It is so much easier to slip out quickly after ordering coffee than if you ordered an appetizer and entrée.

It shows you how traditional I am that I was very resistant to emailing J at first. I feel very strongly, like Patty, that a man should lead in the pursuit. That’s why I only emailed O after he contacted me with something more than a random line about my appearance. And that is why I waited for O to suggest that we meet in person. But in the case of J, I was so much an awkward wallflower during our last meeting that I felt the need to contact him. I knew that I didn’t give clear signals and that he wasn’t the type to take a chance and contact me anyway. My hope is that now he realizes that I am interested and that the ball is in his court. It seems like a silly cat and mouse game, and I’ve only just begun to try and understand it.

I am looking forward to both of my meetings with girlish glee. I feel exhilarated and powerfully female. Both meetings are exactly what I need to give me a much-needed ego boost when it comes to guys.

On a similar note, I had dinner with my ex tonight. It was awkward at times but enjoyable. I’m very glad that we are trying to transition from lovers/bffs to just friends. Despite all that has passed, he remains someone that I admire, love, and respect as a friend and as my past love. He is no longer my future. And that is okay.