Normalcy Restored

I'm feeling much better today. I was so disinterested at work on Thursday and Friday, spending most of my time researching flights back to Isla and other warm, far away places. My anxiety peaked Saturday night until I had a long talk with Floyd. Now I'm back in my routine and feeling more relaxed and upbeat about what another year in D.C. will bring.

My conversation with Floyd was a much needed reality check. He pointed to the flaw in me letting "arbitrary" deadlines dictate my life. When I was 18, I wanted to be married by 25, have a house by 28, and kid or two by 30. When I hit 25, I relunctantly pushed back the timeline by 5 years, and at 28, I've anxiously pushed the timeline back by 10. It's easier, perhaps, for Floyd as a guy to avoid thinking in such a way, as he isn't bound by a biological clock and the double-standard that he'll be perceived as more handsome with age while I'll just continue to wrinkle and sag.

But he is right about one thing. I need to do away with my anxiety about turning 30 - and the value that I place on what I have or haven't accomplished by then.

While I still stand ready to "carpe diem" this year, I am less anxious to drop out or run away to experience the exotic and new "before I get old". There are still opportunities and challenges left for me in D.C., and I should earnestly take another year to seek them out. So that when (if ever) the time comes for me to leave D.C., I can leave in peace and without regret.

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