Going Fishing

Now that time and great friends have given me perspective on my missed connection last Friday, I realize the real lesson I learned: I feel ready to date again.

For such a long time, the strings on my heart from Floyd kept me from truly thinking about any guy in that way. And it definitely kept me from wholeheartedly allowing myself to pursue or be pursued by guys. I must admit that I’m not 100% over my ex and that I will probably compare any new guy I meet to him--at least at first. But I no longer have a silly fantasy of one day getting back with my ex. He is a friend, and I hope he is always a friend, but I know that an “us” really isn’t possible. Our paths crossed for several years and I am stronger and wiser for it all. But now, I must reentered the dating world.

I am scared. I am afraid of men and of sex. I don't know if I can effectively navigate that world after so many years of being out of circulation. Added to that, all the horror stories about dates from hell and immature, commitmentphobe boy-men, and I am all ready to commit myself to a life of celibacy and singlehood before I've even given it a try.

Yet, I know from experience that there is nothing like being in love. And from what I've heard, there is nothing like committing yourself to and growing old with the one person you can't live without.

Yes, I think I'm ready. I'm going to order two dozen dating profile cards, as suggested by Heather and Organica (what do you think about these, chicas?), to help out when I've found a worthwhile connection.

The big test will be when I see Floyd this weekend. I hope that I can keep it together and not revert to my old self. Although we have talked on the phone, I haven't seen him since he visited last summer and told me that we were totally over. So much has changed in my life since then--and for the better.

So quite timid and just a bit jaded, I'll slowly let my guard down in hopes of finding the one I can truly love forever.

1 comment:

Organica said...

Yay, Hippo! I am glad to hear that you are committed to re-entering the dating pool. I know you've heard horror stories about dates from hell, but bad dates aren't THAT bad. At the least, they give you good stories to tell your girlfriends. I really feel like you should go on a few dates where your expectations are very, very low, just to get back into the mode. You can reject the guys after 1 date (it's good to practice politely letting people down, too!).

Maybe sign up for okcupid.com? I found it to be a decent impetus for getting back in the dating world. I only went on one (unsuccessful) date, but I messaged a lot of guys. It was kind of fun. Although, I eventually realized that there are plenty of guys to choose from in the real world.

I think those are nice dating cards. Do you think it would be inappropriate to use your business card? Part of me likes business cards better, because they are something you have with you anyway, so it's not weird to hand them out. Maybe you could write your personal e-mail on the back of a bunch of business cards, and have those ready to hand out. But if you don't want your work info on it, the blue cards are awesome.

How was Floyd's visit? Perhaps that will be fodder for your next post.