She didn't press charges

Last week, there was a bit of drama at my shared house. Yes, it is the last and absolute final straw for me. My roommate's ex-boyfriend was arrested for simple battery in front of our house. I was the only witness but I didn't see much.

I am a bit fearful that her ex is now truly pissed off and may come back for revenge. All I know is that I'm calling the police if I ever seem him hanging outside our place again.

For this reason, she is supposed to get a restraining order but who knows. She refused to press charges and actually tried to change her story after he was arrested. Yeah, so crying and trembling in fear one minute because he wouldn't leave the front stoop after we finally got him out. And now it wasn't a big deal? I was there and I was scared of the odds that two weak women would win against a pissed-off, probably imbalanced dude.

But this brings up a larger issue. It's crazy to think that women are often victims of mental and/or physical abuse from their boyfriends/husbands and often they choose to not press charges and to not get restraining orders to keep them away and to keep themselves and their children safe. I don't understand it.

The story of Rhiana, my roommate (though a more minor offense), and that couple who lived above me last year...it all makes me sick.

Yes, you love and care about him but he hurt you. Of course, in his right mind, he would never want to do you any harm. But things can sour very quickly and escalate so far that he might have actually kill you.

I understand that in those situations it is often childhood trauma or dysfunction merely repeating itself. It is a cycle that rarely breaks without counseling and lots of inner strength.

It is sad to think of how many women are living in silent terror of the one person who is supposed to love them the most and protect them from all others.

Women need to be stronger. Women can be stronger. It sounds cliche, but love shouldn't hurt. You have to realize and fight for love that is pure joy, and not pain.