"I must have that man" (Billie Holiday)

I thought I swore off Mr. Rebound. In August, a month after our last meeting, I held out hope of his return and of us resuming a relationship that could be more that a rebound-hookup. But, in September, after his second disappearance, I decided to face the facts. He never gave any indication that he was interested in anything serious and he had a penchant for falling off the face of the earth. I mean, do I really want to hang around someone like that? So, last weekend, I decided to forget Mr. Rebound, a guy I barely knew and who'd only made me promises in my head.

But when he called last night, I answered and I accepted his proposal to meet this weekend. I don't know what got into me. Just a few days ago, I'd promised to avoid his calls, and there I was eagerly answering the phone. Yes, I was clearly perturbed during the entire conversation and tried to end it at least twice. I want to punish him, yet I still want to date him. Silly, huh? Not to Floyd. He already warned me of the unhealthy emotional attachment I'd formed.

So, I guess I'll see him this weekend—that is, if he doesn't disappear again. I know that I deserve better but I can't shake my attraction and the feeling that I still have unfinished business with him. I'll just see how things go, making sure to resist his charm and his lines. And I'll refuse to allow anymore silly girl fantasies about us. He hasn't proven that he's worth my time and anyway, given my aversion to flings, I'm not worth his investment either. My eyes are finally open, even if my heart is confused.

The biggest risk with seeing him again is that it'll probably setback the progress Floyd and I have made in rebuilding our friendship during the months that Mr. Rebound wasn't around. Things aren't perfect, but he's still a good friend and we have a meaningful and caring, though perverse, relationship that I'm not ready to throw away over a guy who doesn't call, won't admit his age and likes to fall off the face of the earth.

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