9.24.2007

Independent Women

All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me

I just read an interesting article in the New York Times regarding income disparity and dating. According to recent analysis of Census data, "for the first time, women in their 20s who work full time in several American cities…are earning higher wages than men of the same age."  It is interesting how this increase in young, professionally oriented, so called "independent women" is changing the dynamics of the dating scene.

I guess I am an "independent" woman in the traditional sense as I can pay my own bills and still have money for the occasional splurge.  But as an entry-level nonprofit worker, I don't think that I qualify for the class of "independent" women that are profiled in the article (i.e., those pulling over $100,000/year). And, I don't really know what it's like to date guys that are not at least as well off as me.

But I can understand that problems arise when you are a young independent woman seeking a breadwinner husband.  It puts too much focus on finding a guy that is financially stable, when instead the goal should be overall compatibility.  Not many guys will have it together when you first meet them, especially if you're still in your mid-20s like me.  But they should at least have some potential, i.e., determination, passion, and talents to accomplish their career and financial goals.  They should be someone that you can grow with not only professionally and financially but also emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

I guess I'm rather traditional as I don't want to be the breadwinner.  Particularly, if I decide to have children, there would be too much pressure against me being a stay at home mother if my paycheck supported the household.  So, I'm looking to date and marry someone who makes as much, if not more, than me.  Which means that I'll go Dutch on dates but eventually expect my man to occasionally (read: regularly) pick up the tab.

No comments: