Lies, Silence, and Half-truths

Today, I had lunch with a friend who related some information about the guy she was seeing.  It turns out that he'd been silent about something in his past that directly affected their relationship.  Now, my friend is worried about the other skeletons in his closet and if he'll remain open and trusting enough to reveal them to her.  I told her to be careful but remain open to a relationship with him.  If he treats you well and you see a loving future with him, then it is surely worth a (cautious) try.

Today's lunchtime topic reminded me of my summer fling with Mr. Rebound.  I'd always been very open to Mr. Rebound, volunteering details of my breakup, my childhood and everything else that he'd question.  I've never been one to lie (because I'm horrible at it) and I'm not really one to remain silent (again, because I'm horrible at it).  That is why it was so vexing that Mr. Rebound never told me his age.  At first, I thought he was being playful (as Floyd often withheld information from me just to see me squirm…).  But now, I'm suspicious.  What else is he withholding from me?  Is he married?  Does he have kids?  I don't think I ever asked any of these questions.  But given his age, it is quite possible that the answer is yes.  I couldn't imagine dating a guy that was married, divorced or had kids.

If I ever see Mr. Rebound again and we decided to pursue a relationship (which isn't likely given my continued association with Floyd and the age gap...), I must find out the truth from him.  I must know his age and I must be assured that he's not married, divorced or a father.  And if he's not willing to reveal himself to me, as I was always so eager to reveal myself to him, it's goodbye.  I can't be in relationship—romantic, sexual or platonic—that is full of lies, deceit and silence.  I thrive on honesty and sincerity and I can't live (or love) any other way.

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