This was so amusing that I just had to share!
President Cheney Sickens Planet / Earth recoils as VP assumes role for two "unholy" hours. Also: no WMD in Bush's colon
A few sentences of note:
"Every creature that could make a noise or that could show some sort of reaction suddenly let loose and acted as though it had just caught on fire. Heck, I was standing right over there when, at exactly 7:16 a.m., at least 50 goldfish actually leapt out of the main tank to their deaths, like some sort of mass suicide. It was totally crazy.
"But then I heard about -- should I really say this out loud? -- President Cheney, and it all made sense."
* * * *
"I mean, he's by far the worst president the United States has ever known and he's done more to set this nation backa nd embarrass us and create more terrorism and repress science and women and love and hope for all mankind everywhere. But oh my God, he's still no Dick Cheney. That guy makes baby unicorns bleed."
* * * *
After Camp David doctors successfully removed five apparently benign polyps from Bush's colon, they were allegedly instructed by Defense Secretary Robert Gates to see if they could, at long last, find at least a trace of Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction "up in there" to help justify the Iraq conflict...